Welcome to the latest segment of “what strange thing should
Tara ingest today?”

Today’s strange thing: Amp Energy Elevate!

Ok, so it’s not that strange.  It’s an energy drink.  And me having an energy drink is far from strange; it would be stranger to find me without some sort of caffeinated beverage in my hand.  But this is one of the few energy-promising bubblies I have yet to try.  It scares me a little.  It’s exciting new territory, and I’m striking out on a flavor adventure! (Seriously?  That sounds like something you’d read on a bag of Doritos.) 

Aside from being bright blue and affiliated with Mountain Dew, both good things in my book, it’s touting something called L-Theanine.   I know, WTF, right?  The Wikipedia describes it as an amino acid found in tea and a certain mushroom called boletus badius.  Badius should probably translate to “badass”, as this mushroom, with its high L-Theanine content, has been linked to such marvels as the prevention of tumors and obesity.  See?  We’re learning!  The label also indicates the more familiar ginseng, taurine, b vitamins, and guarana (tsk tsk).  And all that without even opening the can.   

So here goes…

…hmm…swish swish…gargle…swish…

I’ll say this, it’s not nearly as bad as it potentially could have been.  “Mixed Berry” is such an ambiguous flavor designation.  I’ll tell you what it really tastes like: a liquefied, carbonated gummy bear.  Which, if you like gummy bears, isn’t terrible.  Slightly unsettling at first, thinking of a herd of gummy bears being corralled on the precipice of a large platform before being shoved off the edge into a giant Cuisinart, hearing their tiny little anthropomorphic screams cut short by whirling steel.  But once you get past its possibly horrific origins, Amp Elevate is not bad.  I’m sure I will finish this can, and, if faced once again with the choice of “it’s me or the sugar-free”, I will most likely purchase the Amp again. 

(On a somewhat related note, how do vegans feel about animal crackers?)

((Take special note that Amp Elevate was not a sponsor for this post, it is straight out of my own boredom that I bring you this.  If it were a paying sponsor, I might leave out the part about gummy bear slaughter.  Maybe.))