Thursday?  More like TWOsday!

Ok, that was lame.  I’m sorry.  I blame the cold.  That’s right, it’s freezing as fuck in Austin right now, although 90% of the town is inside right now so it’s not a big deal.  Apparently there’s some big football game going on now or something.  Whatever, all I know is that the grocery store was virtually empty, and that’s good news for me.  And after all my shopping and procuring of fine edibles, I’m having garlic bread for dinner.  I like to think I’m just adding on an extra layer of blubber to last me through winter.   Like a narwhal might do.  When in Rome!

But back to the two thing…I got a call from my grandpa yesterday telling me that apparently I have a twin in Austin.  Not a real one, of course, (come on, two Taras?  the world would implode under the weight of the awesome) but someone who looks and sounds just like me, enough that MY OWN GRANDFATHER thought it was me for a minute.  She’s a bartender at Joe’s Crab Shack, which, A-I vowed never to work behind a bar ever again, and B-in all my years of service industry hellholes, I never EVER would have stooped to the level of Joe’s Crab Shack.  Hawaiian shirts?  Kiss my ass.  Loud obnoxious birthday songs?  Fire me, please.  So just in case anyone else is confused, no that’s not me working at the Joe’s on Riverside.  Hell, for all I know this girl and I could just share a passing resemblance, and Poppa was just looking for an excuse to call and chat.  Which is cool, I guess.

Speaking of cool, my cheeks are still partially frozen.  Even a close parking spot feels like miles away when it’s 19 degrees outside.  In my haste/warmth-lust I almost ran a dude down with my cart.  Looking back on it now, I think it might have been someone I used to know years ago.  But then again, I see this person’s look-alikes all the time, all over town.  It’s never actually him, I guess the mustachioed junky musician look is pretty common around Austin. (fyi – I just ran the spell-checker, mustachioed was totally correct, but it doesn’t like the word “junky”.)  I didn’t get a good look at him so I guess I’ll never really know.  And so what if it was?  The right side of my brain says “you should have talked to him!  You guys used to be such good friends!  Wouldn’t it be great to catch up?”  The left side, on the other hand, gives the right side a swift backhand and says “what the hell do you have to say to him?  What would you talk about?”  And when I think about it, I guess I have a lot to say. 

“What have I been up to?  Oh, you know, split with that douchebag I was with, got sober, graduated, got married, wrote some screenplays, just stuff, you know.”

That’s the short version, I guess.  The version I would give to someone in the HEB parking lot in sub-freezing weather.  And were we to sit down over coffee, I would brag my ass off about the awesome guy I’m doing and the stuff I’m married to.  (Ok, that wasn’t so PG, my bad.  Is it wrong to brag about an awesome, stereotype-crushing sex life?  I don’t think so.  Sorry mom.)  And then left brain chimes in again and says “no, there are parts of life that you need to just close the door on.  That is one of them.”  And it’s right.  Some things, some people, don’t need to be revisited.  That little chunk of memory is all tied up in Elliot Smith albums and will never really go away, and it is in happy pristine condition.  Better not to tarnish it with visions of the present. 

And also on the “things that look like people” train, I started a new knitting project tonight.  No, I didn’t finish the mock-designer scarf I was telling you about, almost but not yet.  This idea just came to me this afternoon (thanks to the magic of the twitterverse) and I had to get on it right away.  I hope it is as amazing as I think it will be.  So far it doesn’t look like much of anything.  But when it does, there will be a grand unveiling and you will ooh and aah and request one of your very own.  And I will consider it.

Remember when I said I was eating garlic bread for dinner?  I meant I was eating half a loaf of garlic bread for dinner.  I don’t know, it just kind of happened.  I can already feel retribution gurgling inside me.  Time for Tums and ginger tea.  By the way (this will be my free sponsor for the evening), if you can find somewhere that sells Mighty Leaf Ginger Twist tea, buy it!  It’s awesome.  I have many fond memories of being so very hung over and huddling over a big mug of Ginger Twist tea at Flipnotics, usually surrounded by books on ancient Egyptian history.  Those were good times. 

You’ll hear from me tomorrow if I last the night.